


YEEHAW! It's McHanzo Week 2017!

by AughtPunk



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: AU, About dreams, Also I have so many headcanons about 'young' omnics, And me against you, And now a follow up, And sooooooo many OCs, Do you know how tempted I was, Dr. Kwakkenbos just wanted to have a nice party, Dungeons and Dragons, F/M, Gabe is Secretly a Grandmother, Genji is a Dryder, Hanzo is a drow, I against I, It's Red vs Red, Jesse is Joel Morricone, M/M, MCHANZO CHILDREN, Math Nerd Hanzo, Multi, Nightmares, So Many Imaginary Dogs, Tea, That totally aren't dreams, To make this last one, a sailor moon au, also also Hanzo is a Good Dad, and Blue vs blue, and the issue of talking about time travel, and they're all dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-16 06:29:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11248227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AughtPunk/pseuds/AughtPunk
Summary: It's that time again! Ignore the fact I haven't finished McHanzo Week 2016 yet and LET'S DO THIS!DAY 1 — Morning || Night: Hanzo has nightmares and Jesse knows how to helpDAY 2 — Canon Divergence || AU: DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AU TIME AGAINDAY 3 — Undercover || Downtime: A journalist and a mathematician meet at a partyDAY 4 — Red || Blue: More like Red vs BlueDAY 5 — Traditional || Unorthodox: A continuation of a dreamDAY 6 — First Date || Domestic Life - The Dragon eggs have hatchedDAY 7 — The Beach || The Sea - Not all seas have water





	1. Day One - Morning/Night

Jesse McCree believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that 4am didn’t actually exist. Sure, time really wanted you to believe that there was an hour between three and five in the morning, but Jesse had caught onto that deception long ago. Instead there was this grey haze of ‘too awake to go to bed’ and ‘too sleepy to wake up’ that ate away at all who found themselves trapped within it. At least this time Jesse had company.

“What is this?” Hanzo said as he gazed down at the mug in his hands. By Jesse’s estimation Hanzo should have been asleep almost six hours ago. Instead he found the archer in the rec room, watching old children’s programming and singing along. If that wasn’t a sign that he needed help sleeping then nothing was.

“Chamomile. Gabe used to drink it all of the time to help fall asleep. I know, I know, it smells weird. But I swear it doesn’t taste half as bad. I added a little honey to help it go down, anyway.” 

Hanzo took a long gulp, made a face, and went for a second swig. “It tastes like dusty flowers.” 

“That’s pretty much what it is.” Jesse kept an eye on Hanzo as he cleaned up his tea-making mess. The poor guy looked like he was going to fall over asleep at any moment. Yet he was obviously forcing himself to stay awake. And he had a good idea why. “You know, I get them sometimes. Nightmares.” 

Hanzo nodded before sipping at his tea. “Yes. They are...difficult. Sometimes.”

An understatement, knowing Hanzo’s life. Then again it wasn’t like Jesse’s was any prettier. He had woken up too many times after seeing the people he killed, the friends he couldn’t save, ghosts from the past literally stalking him in the shadows. But before Jesse could breathe of word of any of this Hanzo spoke once again. 

“Goblins turned the world’s population into dogs.” Hanzo stared down into his tea. “It was far more terrifying in the dream.” 

“Dogs.”

“Yes.” 

Jesse leaned against the kitchen counter. “Including Winston?”

“He was a very large dog with glasses.”

“The omnics?”

“Robot dogs. Bastion resembled a toaster.”

“Genji.” 

“Half-toaster.”

Jesse grinned. “What about lil’ old me?”

Hanzo returned the grin with a smile of his own. “A mutt in dire need of a bath.”

Jesse pressed a hand against his heart. “You wound me, darlin’! What were you? I’m thinking a mighty white wolf.”

“Not as much.” Hanzo quickly gulped down the last of his tea. “I was a pomeranian. Stop laughing.”

“I’m not laughing!” Jesse said while clearly laughing. “Bet you’d make the cutest little pom-pom.”

“This is why I never talk about my dreams,” Hanzo muttered as he placed his empty mug in the sink. “Thank you for the tea, Jesse. I believe I am ready to face sleep once more.”

Perhaps it was the late hour, or the fact that he also should have been asleep hours ago, but Jesse risked stepping into Hanzo’s personal bubble to whisper into the man’s ear. “You know, I hear havin’ a nice warm body next to you helps chase off nightmares, too.”

“Hmph.” Hanzo leaned up just enough to brush his lips against Jesse’s cheek. “Perhaps next time, cowboy.”

With that Hanzo exited the kitchen, leaving a slightly-stunned Jesse behind.

Jesse didn’t have any more bad dreams that night. Although the ones he did have involved a lot of dogs.


	2. Day Two - AU

_Deep within the Underdark once lived two dark elven brothers, cursed by fate to be the only Drow within their city to be untouched by Lloth’s evil. For years they hid the goodness within their hearts until one day the youngest brother rebelled against the Spider Goddess’ High Priestess. He was punished by being changed into a Dryder, a centaur-like creature with the upper body of a Drow and the lower body of a monstrous spider. His family, deeply ashamed, commanded the elder brother to kill the younger. It was the only way to bring honor back to the name Shimada._

_Things did not go as planned_

 ***

If there was one blessing about the sudden rainfall, it was that it would prevent what remained of the bandits from tracking them down. Of course, this so-called blessing from the Gods (if their newest hanger-on was to be believed) did bring up a problem that no one in their merry band had thought of before: Genji’s massive dryder body sank like a stone in the mud.

Which lead to our heroes’ current situation: huddled naked around a fire in a cave under some thankfully dry wool blankets as their clothes were laid out to dry. Hanzo had chosen to share his blanket with Jesse, even though he had to make it clear to his lover that absolutely nothing was happening anytime soon. Not while Hanzo was cold, aching, and in the same open space as his equally-naked brother.

Genji had fallen asleep the second he sat down in front of the fire. He, more than anyone, gave it his all against the bandits. Truly, the brigands signed their death warrants the second they kidnapped Zenyatta. They were curled up together, dryder legs wrapped around Zenyatta’s metal body tight, daring the world to try to take his love away from him again. Of course Genji also had a few legs around the other person they saved from the bandits. Mercy, cleric of Ilmater, was also curled up against Genji and Zenyatta.

“I don’t know how he does it,” Jesse finally said. “First a warforged, and now an aasimar. In record time, too.”

“Genji said they had met previously,” Hanzo replied, not sounding so sure himself. Genji had scarcely left his side since they stumbled out of the Underdark. He didn’t think Genji had the time to become so closely acquainted with anyone outside their group. 

“Pretty sure I’ve seen her travelin’ with Sir Morrison before.”

“That doesn’t make her the enemy.”

“Yeah, but she might also be itchin’ to shove that holy staff right up my-”

Genji let out a half-snore half-cough before rolling over onto his back, taking Mercy and Zenyatta with him. There was a brief fight over the blankets before the three of them fell back asleep. Hanzo watched as the feathered wings on Mercy’s back flexed once before folding against her body. Before Jesse could say another word Hanzo moved his own hand to scratch right under Jesse’s leathery wings.

“Mmm, darlin’,” Jesse purred. “Thought you said we were keeping our hands to ourselves.”

“I did not wish to imply we could not cuddle as well,” Hanzo said as he pressed against Jesse’s side. In return Jesse wrapped an arm around Hanzo to hold the drow close. If Hanzo didn’t know any better he could have sworn the tiefling was warmer than the fire. They sat there like that, lost in the sounds of the crackling hearth and the rain echoing against the cave walls.

“Million gold pieces,” Jesse said, ruining the moment.

“That is quite a lot of gold,” Hanzo replied. 

"Million gold pieces, but you have to lick every magic item you come across.”

Hanzo rested his head on Jesse’s shoulder. “Do you mean every magic item I find and wish to keep for myself?” 

“Nah, it’s every magic object you can directly see. Even if you don’t know it’s magic! The good news is that you now have a sure-fire way to detect magic.”

“Mmm.” Hanzo shook his head. “I must pass. If I ever find myself in front of royalty it might end with my beheading.”

“Good point. Wouldn’t want that to happen to you, darlin’.” Jesse kissed the top of Hanzo’s head. “Your turn.”

“Very well. A million gold pieces.”

“Sure is a whole lot of gold, sugarpie.”

Hanzo scratched between Jesse’s wings, earning another happy whimper from the man.  “A million gold pieces, but everything you read has a one-in-twenty chance of being enchanted with Explosive Runes.”

Jesse shifted his body under the blanket, which just so happened to pull Hanzo closer. “Can I hire someone to read for me?”

“I said everything, Jesse. Signs, labels, graffiti, tattoos, everything has a one-in-twenty chance of exploding in your face."

“Better not then. Hate to have someone’s tattoo blow up just because I looked at them.”

Hanzo felt Jesse’s hand move and squeeze his thigh. Suddenly Hanzo couldn’t really remember why they were just talking instead of acting. It would be so easy to pin Jesse down on the cave floor, take his time to appreciate every inch of Jesse’s body, to-

A deep groan from the other side of the cave snapped Hanzo right out of it. One of Genji’s back legs lifted up in the air as he grumbled “I’ll give you both a million gold pieces if you shut up!”

And like that Jesse and Hanzo’s hands were back to themselves. Neither of them spoke until Genji’s leg went back down and the cave once again was filled with the sound of his snoring. 

“Well,” Jesse said as he risked an arm around Hanzo’s shoulders. “Wouldn’t want a million gold pieces anyway. Already got everything I need right here.”

Hanzo laid his head down on Jesse’s shoulder and smiled. “Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want more DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS Overwatch AU? 
> 
> [Here's more from this AU over in my Genyatta week](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8768701/chapters/20163649)
> 
> [What's with the bandits? Click here to find out!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8893591/chapters/20512711)
> 
> [My buddy Wyntera did Hanzo and Jesse's first D&D smooch over in her McHanzo Week 2016...](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8918011)
> 
> [...and a very lovely NSFW follow-up for McHanzo Week 2017!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11241213)


	3. Day Three - Undercover

Hanzo never should have published those academic papers in college.

At the time his younger self saw no problems with it. Just because he was destined to lead the Shimada Clan didn’t mean his genius had to go unused. So he published his first paper under a fake name and went on with his life. And then a second. A third. It was something to do when the killing got too much. Something to think about while waiting hours for a target. 

But then he started winning awards. He was invited to parties. Not the politics-literal backstabbing-drugs-etc parties that came with being part of a criminal family. No, parties with wine and card games and long rambling stories about how the head of the Center for Theoretical Physics at MIT slipped on a wet bathroom tile and thought of a new theorem on the way to the hospital. Even after joining Overwatch he would sneak out to them as a welcomed break from his normal life. They were...fun. Enjoyable.

At least they were until a one Dr. Kwakkenbos (robotics engineer), said “Tarou! You’ve never met Joel, right? Joel, this is Dr. Tarou Kurosawa. Tarou, this is-”

Hanzo looked up from the punch bowl to say hello to the newest face at the party. 

Jesse McCree in return grinned and offered Hanzo his hand. “Joel. Joel Morricone. It’s an honor to meet you, Dr. Kurosawa.”

He never should have published that damned paper.

“Likewise,” Hanzo said as he took Jesse’s hand, almost forgetting to speak in Tarou’s normal softer tone. There was a split-second Hanzo would have believed the man in front of him wasn’t Jesse McCree. He wore casual, non-cowboy clothes that matched his brushed back hair and designer glasses. His voice was different, his beard was trimmed, but there was no mistaking that smile. Hanzo didn’t realize he was still holding Jesse’s hand until Dr. Kwakkenbos loudly cleared his throat.

“Joel is doing an article on Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou and said, um, what was it-”

“I wished to learn more about the scientific community,” Jesse said in a voice terrifyingly devoid of his normal accent. “Get a feel for what it’s really _like_ to be a scientist. Why I was just telling Dr. Kwakkenbos how I wanted to sit down and talk with some of you lovely-”

Hanzo’s body reacted before he could find his voice. He grabbed onto Jesse’s sleeve and, with a slight nod to Dr. Kwakkenbos, more or less dragged Jesse out onto the patio. The crowd had abandoned this area long ago, leaving nothing behind but a few used paper cups and a tinny speaker looping the host’s terrible playlist. As soon as the patio door closed Hanzo turned to Jesse, only to find he still wasn’t sure what to say.

Thankfully Jesse always knew when to pick up the slack. “So. Fancy-Math-Scientist, huh?” He said in his normal voice, a fact Hanzo was very thankful for. 

“And you, a reporter, I assume?”

“Well.” Jesse cracked his neck and his whole body seemed to relax back into what some may call his ‘normal cowboy pose.’ “More like a popular blogger, but it says reporter on my business cards.”

“As mine say analyst,” Hanzo sighed. “Jesse, I am truly sorry that I-”

Jesse’s arm slipped around Hanzo’s waist. He worried, briefly, if anymore inside could see them. But only briefly. “There’s no need to apologize, sug. I didn’t tell you about my side-job, so I reckon we’re even. If you feel the same way, of course.”

Hanzo nodded as his own arm moved around Jesse’s, purely from habit. “Shall we rejoin the party, Joel?”

“We could do that, Tarou. Or, and hear me out here, darlin’.” Jesse dropped his voice to a whisper, “Or we can find ourselves a nice little private spot and see if any rumors start up about the two of us.”

“A journalist and a math professor?” Hanzo asked as he smiled up at Jesse. “I suppose there are weirder matches out there.”

“Like a cowboy and an archer?” Jesse said, ducking his head down enough to meet Hanzo’s lips halfway. 


	4. Day Four - Red vs Blue

“Jesse?”

“Yeah, Hanzo?”

“Do you ever wonder why we are here?”

Jesse shifted his arm around Hanzo in an attempt to get comfier. It didn’t work. No amount of old blankets could make the metal floor of the crashed dropship feel anything close like a mattress. But it was a small sacrifice for a bit of privacy. “Well, for me it was either join the war against the Covenant or rot in jail for the rest of my life. And if I remember correctly you and Genji joined up to escape your asshole family together. Pretty straight-forward.”

“What? No,” Hanzo sat up in order to look down at Jesse. The light streaming in through the cracked paneling of the long abandoned ship framed his face in gold. “I was speaking in a more metaphysical sense.”

“Oh. Is this because that monk joined y’all over on Blue Team?”

“No.” Hanzo sighed and laid back down on Jesse’s chest. “Yes.” 

Jesse fought down a laugh and instead focused on running his remaining hand up and down Hanzo’s back. “Hanzo, look, I’m not exactly a religious type. Never was into spirituality, or thinkin’ about what happens after my number comes up. Sure as hell never gave any to the idea of Gods or spirits or anything of the like-”

“Says the man who swears he has seen the ghost of our dead commanders-”

“That’s different, ghosts are real, totally saw them, not the point. The point is I’m as spiritual as a rock but I do know one thing, pumpkin.”

“What is that?”

“If there is anyone out there, I’m glad they let me meet you.”

Hanzo let out a faint chuckle. “And I as well, Jesse.”

A peaceful silence wrapped over the two men once more. Jesse was more than content to stay that way, naked, wrapped in a pile of filthy blankets with his lover, until a shrill beep filled the air. For a second Jesse hoped it was signaling an army of aliens or something but, no, the light flashing in his cast-off helmet confirmed it was an incoming message from Red Team. Jesse grabbed said helmet and held it up to his face.

“Red Team Leader,” he yawned. “This better be good.”

The voice that came through did not belong to anyone on his team. “This is Vaswani, and I am trying to report-”

“Satya? Satya, you got the wrong frequency. You’re talkin’ to the enemy.”

“I am aware of whom I am speaking with, Commander McCree. But Commander Shimada is not picking up and I realized this would be the fastest way to speak with him. Unless I am incorrect?”

Hanzo grumbled. “You are not. Report.”

Satya didn’t bother to hide the smug satisfaction in her voice. “Commander Shimada, we are currently having a...minor issue with Bastion.”

“Bastion?” Jesse whispered.

Hanzo mouthed ‘our tank’ before continuing, “If this is about his faulty speech unit I have already put in a request with Winston over at Headquarters-”

“No, Commander. It’s not that. The issue is, well, we think Bastion might be in love with Red Team’s transport vehicle.”

There was a brief kerfuffle of voices on the other end that could only be described as ‘two grown adults fighting over a helmet’ before a new voice came over the line. “Lúcio here to confirm that Bastion is totally in love with Orisa and it’s the cutest thing in the whole universe. I’m totally getting cavities watching them beep at each other!”

“You named your warthog Orisa?” Hanzo whispered back.

“Actually the ten year old who designed Orisa named her.”

Jesse could actually hear Hanzo develop a headache. “HQ let a ten year old design a military vehicle.”

“I know, darlin’.” Jesse kissed Hanzo’s forehead to chase the HQ-caused headache away before turning his attention back to his helmet. “Look, just keep Bastion and Orisa from eloping until we get back. And for God’s sake no one let the mercenaries know or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

There was a long, telling silence on the other end before Satya spoke. “What if both of those things have already happened?”

Jesse stared long and hard at his reflection in the helmet’s visor. “How-”

“You know that mercenary, Shrike? Turns out they can legally marry people!” Lúcio chimed in. “So if you and Hanzo ever want to tie the knot-”

“Commander McCree and I will be there in fiftee-,” Hanzo met Jesse’s gaze. “In thirty. Do not perform anymore marriages in the meantime.”  

“Oh man,” said Lúcio. “Then you probably don’t want to hear about how Torbjörn’s now technically committing bigamy with his-”

Jesse turned the communicator in his helmet off before chucking it in the direction of the rest of his armor. The helmet landed with of satisfying crash that scattered blue and red armored segments alike before rolling to a complete stop. Jesse moved his arm back into it’s semi-awkward position and smiled sleepily down at Hanzo. “So, thirty minutes, huh?”

Hanzo nuzzled his cheek against Jesse’s shoulder. “It did not sound like an emergency.

“I don’t know sweetpea, if we don’t act fast the stork might deliver us a bundle of little tank-jeeps to Blood Gulch.”

“A risk I am willing to take.” Jesse felt Hanzo relax in his arms, and was about to drift off too until Hanzo spoke up. “Jesse?”

“Yeah, darlin’?”

“Remind me to explain where babies come from to you later.”

“Sure thing, darlin.”


	5. Day Five - Unorthodox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [PREVIOUSLY ON MCHANZO WEEK](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8893591/chapters/24973830)

Once upon a time, roughly twenty years ago, Jesse McCree had a nice dream.

The dream had been one of those super-realistic ones you ever only hear other people talk about. It started out a bit on the strange side with it being taking place the far-off future where Overwatch was being run by a talking gorilla from the moon. There was also a young British woman there apologizing for ‘time abnormalities’ and promising to get Jesse back to his proper home. But that wasn’t the nice part of the dream. No, that had been Hanzo.

Jesse was forever thankful to whatever part of his subconscious that thought Hanzo up. Hanzo was quite literally the lover of his dreams. A beautiful, dangerous man that was so eager to please and with a body Jesse played like a fiddle. As the other details of the dream faded over time his night with this imaginary man did not. He knew it was just a silly fantasy, but that never stopped him from replaying it over in his head during the long, lonely nights.

Years passed. Jesse met a talking gorilla from the moon and a young British woman slightly unstuck in time. Outside of an odd feeling of deja vu he didn’t really think about it. Not until the Recall, and his reunion with his old friend Genji. The good news was that Genji had finally gotten his head on straight. The bad news?

“You can’t kill him.” Genji said, blocking the only exit out of the kitchen with his body. 

“I ain’t gonna kill him, Genji.” Jesse said as he began to inch over to the side, only to be blocked by Genji again. “I just want to have a few words with him. Maybe break a finger or two.”

“Jesse.” Genji growled, “I have forgiven my brother. The pain he has inflicted upon himself should be more than enough for your bloodlust.”

“Yeah yeah he’s all eaten up inside, I know, but I’m just saying he’ll really learn his lesson if he’s also missing a few molars.”

“ _ Jesse Nathaniel McCree _ -” Genji started, but never got to finish. In an underhanded move that made Jesse feel like a true rat he slammed a flashbang down, blinding his old dear light-sensitive friend. He rolled through the doorway and sprinted down the hall before Genji could even begin to recover. He was a heel, a true bastard, but at least he wasn’t a brother killer.

Jesse didn’t care how much harmony and forgiveness Genji had pouring out of him. There were things in this world that were unforgivable. Justice wasn’t going to dispense itself, after all. Halfway to the main entrance his gun ached to be used. Right this wrong. Make him pay for what Genji had gone through. He rounded a corner and bumped right into someone heading the other way.

“‘Cuse me-”

“My apologies-”

Jesse stopped. The man stopped.

Moving in sync both men turned around to stare at each other. Or, in Jesse’s case, stare at the man’s tattooed arm. He knew that tattoo. He still dreamed about that tattoo. The memory of tracing every inch of that dragon with his tongue was etched deep into his soul. If he hadn’t been so busy looking at said tattoo he might have noticed the stranger was staring at his old lucky belt buckle. The one he had been wearing since he first joined Overwatch. 

Their eyes met. Even if Jesse didn’t recognize that tattoo he sure as hell remembered those eyes. It was Jesse who spoke first, finally breaking the silence between them.

“Didn’t we make out in a dream once?”

***

“It’s possible, love.” Lena hung upside-down from the chin-up bar, her knees being the only thing keeping her suspended. “If old-glowy-blue here got damaged there’s a chance everything could get a bit muddled up.”

Jesse sunk back against the mirrored gym wall. He didn’t care what Angela said, nothing on God’s green Earth would get him to exercise daily. But it didn’t stop him from coming to the gym to be friendly. “Ain’t you worried? We know it’s going to happen at some point.”

Lena gave Jesse an upside-down shrug. “Well clearly you and Hanzo get back, and you both saw me there just fine, so there’s nothing really to worry about!”

“Wish I had a drop of your sunshine, hang on, Hanzo’s talked to you about it?”

“Mmm-hmm. I was a bit worried I’d have to give him my ‘you can’t change the past’ speech what with, well, you know. But instead he just told me about this weird so-called dream he had years ago. Wanted to verify that it really happened I guess.”

“Ah.” Jesse cleared his throat. “Well-”

“Then he asked me a whole bunch of questions like ‘how long has that cowboy owned that belt buckle’, and ‘has the cowboy always used terrible pick up lines’, and a few on when you and I met. I think he was trying to suss out a timeline of events.” Lena playfully narrowed her eyes. “You know, you never mentioned that you met Hanzo during all that nonsense.”

Jesse focused on an odd stain on the floor and hope his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Wasn’t important.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Lena repeated, her own face bright red due to gravity-related reasons, “So I guess it’s ‘not important’ that Hanzo’s been staring at you from the treadmills for the past fifteen minutes?”

Jesse’s head whipped around in time to see Hanzo on said treadmill, walking at what was clearly the slowest speed possible. But the second their eyes met Hanzo misstepped and fell down with the grace of a duck on an all-night bender.

Lena winced. “You might want to go help him out, love.”

“Think I might need some help too.” Jesse muttered as he went to help Hanzo and face what would probably be the most awkward conversation of his life.

***

No one really used the gym’s locker room anymore. There really wasn’t a point with such a low amount of active agents in the base. Which was good because Jesse didn’t want anyone to stumble upon Hanzo sitting on a wood bench together in complete silence. At least his fear of an awkward talk was unfounded. That being said he wasn’t sure if the unspoken questions between them were any better. 

Hanzo finally broke the silence with a weak “Did you know?”

Jesse shook his head. “Nah. Didn’t meet Lena and Winston til almost ten years after, after. Did you really think…?”

Hanzo nodded. “Foolish, perhaps.”

“We were just two dumb kids.” Jesse said, “Wasn’t like we knew any better. Say uh, does Genji-”

“Yes. And he will not stop laughing about it.” To Jesse’s surprise Hanzo smiled. “It is good to hear him laugh again.”

“He’s still an asshole.”

“Very.”

Silence again. All he could hear was the beating of his own heart in his ears and the distant whine of the air conditioner. After a quick inner debate between screaming and running for it Jesse decided to go for a third, possibly even worse, choice. “You damned near ruined me, you know that?”

Jesse saw Hanzo’s head jerk up out of the corner of his eye. The other man didn’t say anything, so Jesse continued. “For years I thought it was some weird mental block. Every time I found ah, a nice distraction, I’d just end up thinking about the man of my dreams. If I had known you were real I would have hunted you down and married ya on the spot.”

Hanzo let out an undignified snort. “After a single night together?”

“Darlin’, you’re the best I’ve ever had. Never been with a soul that ever made me feel that way before or since.”

“Likewise.” Said Hanzo, his voice barely above a whisper. Hanzo’s hand was close to Jesse’s, almost touching, but not quite. But then Hanzo smiled, that smile Jesse had thought of so many times before, and took Jesse’s hand within his own. “Marriage is rather drastic, but I would not say no to dinner. I do believe that is more traditional.”

Jesse grinned and squeezed Hanzo’s hand back. “You wanna try all proper-like this time?”

Hanzo scooted closer so that their legs were touching. “By my understanding it has not happened yet.”

“That’s, true, I guess, I mean it has happened, just not happened-happened, you just gotta accept that it has both not-happened and will-happen while at the same time has happened already-”

Jesse’s musings on time travel were thankfully cut short by a soft, sweet, downright romantic kiss from Hanzo. The kiss was nothing like their first, but Jesse loved it just the same. He also didn’t mind it so much when the kiss got a little out of control, or how it lead to him and Hanzo running back to his bedroom hand-in-hand. They might have done things a little out of order, but they both found each other once again.

Which technically hadn’t happened the first time yet.


	6. Day Six: Domestic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [PREVIOUSLY ON MCHANZO WEEK](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8893591/chapters/20421397)

Exactly one week before Jesse McCree retired from active duty Soba and Udon laid four eggs.

They didn’t actually lay the eggs, explained his loving husband, Hanzo McCree, for the first of many times. His dragons parted with a fraction of their energy in order to summon dragons for their future children. Then they created crystal cocoons around said energy to protect the summoned dragons until the children were born. The fact that said method looked a lot like laying eggs was purely a coincidence.

Children? Jesse had asked. The thought of having a family with Hanzo had crossed his mind, moreso ever since the accident.

Children, Hanzo responded. He was smiling. Beaming. Scared and hopeful, like a good parent should be. So was Jesse. They sat together in front of the eggs often after that day, wondering about what the future would bring. And what the exact child-to-dragon ratio would be.

***

In the biggest twist of all, Jesse _loved_ paperwork. He found it relaxing in it’s own odd way. Something about checking off boxes, signing in triplicate, organizing folders within folders within folders within sub-directories scratched an itch Jesse didn’t even know he had before he got the desk job. And since that meant Commander Fareeha Amari didn’t have to do any paperwork it was win-win for the both of them.

It was because of Jesse’s rather intense filing system (that made Hanzo purr every time he described it in detail) that let him discover the out-of-place file on his computer’s system shortly after its creation. A rather innocent looking file that even followed his naming convention. He might have even opened it and signed it blindly if it wasn’t for the movement in the corner of his remaining eye.

“I know you’re there, Sombra. Come on out.”

Silence. Jesse sighed. “Kerrigan? Fantasma? Course, I could always call you Mar-”

A bright explosion of blue and white light burst in front of Jesse as Sombra appeared. She held up her hands in defeat. “Fine! Fine. I will accept that ancient codename, but only this time.”

“Howdy Sombra,” Jesse said with a tip of his hat. “How’s the Mister and Misses?”

“He’s on a world tour with some ‘fresh young talent’ from his school and she’s busy working on the reconstruction of Seoul,” Sombra said as she sat down on the edge of Jesse’s desk. “And me, you ask?”

“I didn’t, but continue.”

“I’m here on business.” Sombra flicked her wrist and the file on Jesse’s computer opened with a musical _bweeoop_. “A little bird told me that you and Hanzo are looking to adopt.”

“Not exactly, but I can’t help but notice that these are adoption papers. That I and Hanzo have mysteriously already filled out. Care to explain?”

Three pictures popped up on Jesse’s screen. Sombra leaned over and pointed to them as she talked. “Clark, six years old. Was going to Lúcio’s school until a week ago when his parents died in a car crash. His extended family has washed their hands of him due to his hearing issues-”

Jesse felt his cell buzz in his back pocket. “Sombra-”

“-His extended family have also had their various assets liquidated and put into a savings account for Clark but don’t tell Lúcio that-”

His phone finally stopped buzzing only to start again right away. “Sombra, hang on-”

“The girls are sisters, Seo-yun is eight and Min-seo is three. Lost their entire family during the attack on Seoul and were badly hurt on top of it. Seo-yun lost her right arm and doctors say Min-seo is going to need at least a basic exoskeleton bracing to walk again-”

“Sombra!” Jesse slammed his hand onto his desk loud enough to interrupt her. “Sombra, sweetheart, before you tell me about anymore kids that just break my heart-”

“There is one more now that you mention it-”

“Could you just, and this is all I’m askin’, could you just explain why you want me and Hanzo to adopt these kids in particular?”

Sombra’s knowing smile grew into a full-out smartass grin as she flicked her wrist, changing the pictures on Jesse’s computer to ones that were clearly taken during medical exams. The boy was putting up a fight while getting a shot, the oldest girl having a basic prosthetic fitted, and the youngest being shown how her exoskeleton worked.

All three children had dragon tattoos wrapped around various parts of their body.

“Because, my dear cowboy, they’re your kids.”

Jesse’s cell finally stopped buzzing only to be followed up by the ‘you got a text’ chime. He fished the phone out of his pocket and wasn’t too shocked to see missed messages from Hanzo and a single text.

_The eggs hatched._

“You mentioned there’s another kid, right?” Jesse said, not taking his eyes off his phone. “Where’s their pictures?” 

“They’re a, let’s say,” Sombra snapped her fingers and the photos on Jesse’s screen vanished, “special case. I can bring you to them if you’d like. I’m sure Dr. Klockner’s done by now.”

“Doc Klock, wait wait wait, the kid’s here? _Here_ here?” Jesse stood up fast enough that his bad knee complained with a loud pop.

Sombra touched the side of her head. “I believe they were brought in last night, and, yes, here comes Dr. Klockner to speak to you about it. Shall I give the two of you the illusion of privacy and leave?”

“Might as well. And Sombra?” 

“Yes, cowboy?”

Jesse smiled as he sent Hanzo a text comprised mostly of smiling emojis back. “You can go ahead and push through that adoption paperwork.” 

***

Out of all the potential futures Hanzo would daydream about, the one he never thought would come true was ‘homeowner’. But there he was, standing side-by-side with his husband in front of their brand-new home. A simple house, nearly identical to the other ones in the neighborhood, but it was close to the Hanamura Watchpoint (formerly Shimada Castle) and big enough for the six of them. Because there were six of them. Because he had a family. 

“Penny for your thoughts, darlin’?” Jesse asked as he wrapped an arm around Hanzo’s shoulders. In theory the two of them were supervising the move while other people did all the hard work.

“I was thinking about how angry Satya will be when she finds out you are forcing the new recruits to help us move in.” Hanzo stepped aside just in time to avoid one of said recruits as they stumbled by holding far too many boxes for their own good. 

Jesse placed a hand against his heart. “Sugarplum! Don’t make me sound so cruel! All these nice recruits volunteered to help a pair of old men out.”

Hanzo gave his husband, the love of his life, a look. “One. We are not old.” 

“Considerin’ I was certain I’d be dead before my twentieth birthday forty-two is pretty damn old-” 

“And two, I overheard Agent Riggs and Agent Caroline saying that this, ‘was way better than doing extra laps’.” 

Jesse did his best to not look guilty, and failed, before giving up and nuzzling the top of Hanzo’s head instead. “Do you think we should check on the kids? They’ve been suspiciously quiet. Which means they’re up to something.” 

“I am sure they are fine, Jesse. Genji is watching after them.” 

“Yeah you’re, wait, Genji and Zenyatta, or just-”

What followed could only be described as a loud, short parade of chaos and dragons zig-zagging through the small crowd of agents. At the head was Soba, roughly the size of a horse, with Clark and his own pocket-sized orange noodle dragon hanging on for dear life. After Soba was Udon being ridden by Seo-yun and Min-seo with their yellow and red dragons wrapped around their bodies in what looked to be a poorly conceived attempt at seat belts. As the laughing children and roaring dragons vanished around the side of the house they were followed by a slightly-exhausted looking Genji carrying his own sleeping child.

“Hey Jesse can you hold Wren for a second thanks!” Genji handed his daughter over to to Jesse before sprinting after the others. There wasn’t any screams or crashes after Hanzo lost sight of all of them, so he assumed everyone was okay for now.

Jesse shifted the somehow-still-sleeping toddler onto his hip. “Did you see Sprue in all of that?”

“I did not.” Hanzo sighed, 

“You go find them while I keep an eye on little chickadee here.” Jesse and Hanzo shared a quick kiss before Hanzo slipped away to hunt down their fourth child. 

His search did not take long. Sprue had only been in their lives for less than a week, but Hanzo had figured out their habits already and the house wasn’t that big. Still, it took him three tries to find the closet Sprue had hidden themselves in, and that was only because they had figured out how to turn their external LED lights off. 

Hanzo opened the closet door the rest of the way so he could sit down next to the young omnic. Their body was still, but the hum of their inner fans told Hanzo that Sprue was awake. All four of their arms were wrapped around their chest, hiding the large dragon engraving underneath. Hanzo waited to see if Sprue would speak first, and when they did not he broke the silence. 

“It is okay to be scared, Sprue.” 

Sprue lifted their head out of their arms, but said nothing. 

“When I joined Overwatch I was scared, too,” Hanzo said, his voice soft, “Terrified. I didn’t know anyone outside of my brother, and even then it had been so long since I saw him last. I was worried everyone would hate me, so I hid myself away from everyone else. Until your father decided he wanted to become my best friend no matter what. He is annoying like that.”

Sprue made an almost-laugh noise. 

“Although I hated it at the time I am glad he did. Once I got to know everyone I realized there was nothing to be afraid of. Now I have many friends, my wonderful husband, and you and your siblings. If I had stayed hidden, cowering in fear I would not have any of this. I would not have you.”

A shimmer of purple light passed over Sprue’s dragon engraving. Their whole frame relaxed, but they still did not move. Hanzo understood.

“You may stay here for as long as you wish,” Hanzo said as he stood back up. “But it would be nice if you joined us for dinner.”

Sprue finally looked up. “I do not eat,” they said, their voice staticy from being not quite finalized yet.

“Nor does your Uncle Zenyatta, but he always joins us when he can. He enjoys spending time with us, and we enjoy his company,” Hanzo smiled. “Perhaps you could bring your deck of cards? Your father would be more than happy to teach you his favorite card games.” He dramatically looked around before leaning down to whisper, “And if you sit next to him I am certain he will teach you how to cheat as well.” 

Sprue let out a small gasp of childish delight. “Can we go get my deck of cards now?” they asked as they reached to Hanzo with all four of their hands.

“Of course, Sprue. Maybe Papa Jesse can tell you all about the time he almost lost his other arm while playing Texas Holdem.” Hanzo helped Sprue up, making sure they got their footing before letting go. Although Sprue was a full-sized humanoid omnic, they still moved like an awkward toddler who just learned to walk. “Do you know what Texas Holdem is?” 

Sprue tilted their head, and the lights across their body flashed in time with their engraving. “A card game where people are forced to remove their body parts?”

“Only sometimes.” Hanzo took Sprue’s hand and lead them back outside. No, this was not a future he would have ever imagined. But it is a present he is glad to have.


	7. Day 7 - The Sea

Jesse McCree was on the Moon. The Moon. Holy shit he was on the fucking MOON. The thing up in space? Big old round white rock? He was there, holy shit, he was there, he was standing on the Moon he, Jesse McCree, was on the Moon. Every now and then he’d get lost in the labyrinth of the old Horizon Base only to enter a room with a window and be reminded fucking shit he was on the motherfucking Moon  _ fuck _ . 

The weirdest part was that everyone else was taking the whole ‘on the Goddamn Moon’ thing in stride. Satya was working on the teleporter, Winston was showing Lena around, and Lúcio was skating across every surface he could, all acting as if this was a normal mission and not a mission in outer-fucking-space. Jesse was almost convinced that he was the odd one out until he walked into the observation room and found Hanzo sitting in front of the largest window.

“Howdy, partner.” Jesse said as he took his normal seat next to Hanzo. “See somethin’ out there you like?”

Hanzo didn’t talk. Instead he gave a slight nod at the window and the heavens above.

There, nestled in a sea of stars, was Earth.

At once Jesse regret sitting down. His bones shook, something deep and primal in the back of his mind screamed that this was wrong, this was bad, he should be down there with all the plants and animals and water and stuff. He felt like he was going to throw up. He felt like he was just going to fall up into the void and crash back down straight into the dirt. Now, more than ever in his entire existence, he wanted to go home. Jesse might have even screamed that but was stopped by Hanzo taking his hand.

The nausea vanished. His body stopped shaking. Jesse squeezed Hanzo’s hand as tight as he could. He glanced away from the window long enough to look at the the only thing keeping him grounded, only to see that Hanzo was already staring back at him.

“It’s,” Jesse said, his voice cracked on the edges, “It’s too damn much.”

Hanzo squeezed Jesse’s hand. “Agreed.”

In that moment Jesse realized three things. One, the sight of Hanzo was far prettier than any old planet. The clouds, the oceans, everything that ever existed was hardly a blimp on Jesse’s radar compared to Hanzo. Two, there was clearly something moving outside out on the Moon’s surface when the place should have been empty save for them. But any worried about rogue Moon Gorillas faded when Jesse saw a familiar flash of green.

“Darlin’ is, is that Lúcio skating on the big old wall thing out there?”

Hanzo tore his eyes away from Jesse, “What are you, oh. Yes. That does appear to be Lúcio.”

“How is he breathin’?”

Hanzo answered with a shrug. “Shall we inform the others?”

Jesse shook his head and smiled at Hanzo, “Nah, hate to ruin his fun.”

The sight of Hanzo smiling was enough for Jesse to forget all about the whole weird ‘on the Moon’ thing. With a surge of bravery Jesse let go of Hanzo’s hand only to spread his arm out in a gesture of ‘come here’. The third realization hit Jesse as Hanzo shuffled closer and snuggled up against his side. There was no real point in being homesick when Jesse’s home was right there, holding his hand. 


End file.
